Tips for Navigating the Weight of Single Parenting a Child With Autism

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There’s a particular kind of quiet that descends on a house once the day winds down and the child you love more than life itself is finally asleep. It’s not peaceful, exactly—because your mind is still racing with all the things that didn’t get done and all the things waiting for you tomorrow. If you’re a single parent raising a child on the autism spectrum, that quiet can feel like both a relief and a reminder. You did everything today. You’ll do it again tomorrow. And still, you wonder if it’s ever going to feel like enough.

Build a Village Even When It Feels Like You’re Alone

When you're parenting solo, the phrase “it takes a village” can feel like a cruel joke. But the truth is, community doesn't always have to look like a partner at home. Sometimes it’s the school counselor who knows your child by name or the neighbor who watches your kid for twenty minutes while you answer emails. You learn to stitch together a safety net from people who see your struggle and show up anyway. And yes, sometimes you have to ask for help even when it feels unnatural, because no one is meant to do this alone.

Let Go of the Myth of the “Perfect” Parent

There’s an unspoken pressure—especially for single parents—to be both nurturer and enforcer, teacher and therapist, friend and disciplinarian. That pressure multiplies when your child has special needs, and the bar for being “good enough” keeps shifting. But perfection is a myth that will chew you up and spit you out if you let it. What matters more is showing up every day with love, even when you’re exhausted, even when you’re unsure, even when you yell and feel awful about it later. Your child doesn’t need perfection. They need you, present and real.

Find Small Rituals That Ground You

When your days are jammed with therapy appointments, IEP meetings, meltdowns, and sensory overloads, the idea of self-care can feel like a punchline. But this isn’t about spa days or weekend getaways—this is about survival. Maybe it’s five minutes with a cup of tea after bedtime, a morning walk before your child wakes up, or a playlist that makes your soul feel less buried. These aren’t luxuries; they’re lifelines. You need moments that belong only to you so you don’t lose yourself in the tidal wave of caregiving.

Natural Ways to Unwind

After the house goes still, finding small, homeopathic ways to reset can help ease the edge off your day. Herbal teas like lemon balm or chamomile, or a few drops of lavender oil on your pillow, can offer a gentle shift. Even five minutes of focused breathing or light stretching can bring your body back down. For some, this may be a good option—THCa, a non-psychoactive cannabis compound, is gaining quiet traction for its calming effects without the high.

Reframe Guilt and Make Peace With the Hard Days

Guilt is a constant companion when you're raising a neurodivergent child alone. You wonder if you're doing enough, if you’re making the right choices, if your own frustration is causing harm. There will be days when your patience runs out, when you cry in the car, when you miss a therapy session because you just couldn’t manage one more thing. That doesn’t make you a bad parent. That makes you human. Letting go of the guilt doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you’re choosing to move forward without letting shame steer the wheel.

Connect With Others Who Get It

It’s hard to explain to friends or coworkers what it’s like to be screamed at by your child for an hour because their sock seam feels wrong—or to attend a birthday party where your kid hides under the table the entire time. But other parents who’ve lived it don’t need the backstory. Finding those people—whether through local support groups, online communities, or casual friendships—is a form of oxygen. They remind you that you’re not alone in the things no one talks about. They laugh with you about the absurd moments and hold space for the devastating ones.

Allow Yourself to Feel Joy Without Guilt

It’s easy to slip into the role of martyr without even realizing it. You give and give, and when a good day finally comes—when your child tries a new food or makes a friend or just gets through a grocery trip without melting down—it can feel strange to celebrate. But joy isn’t selfish. It's necessary. Allowing yourself to feel it, to mark the wins however small, is what keeps you going. You are allowed to be proud, to laugh, to feel lightness even when your situation is heavy.

Understand That Strength Looks Different Every Day

People will call you strong. Sometimes it feels true, and sometimes it doesn’t. Strength doesn’t always look like power and grace—it often looks like crying behind a closed bathroom door, then pulling it together and making dinner. It looks like saying no to an invitation you wanted to accept because your child needs you more that night. It looks like continuing to try, to fight, to love in the face of exhaustion. That’s the kind of strength no one sees, but you live with every day.

If no one’s told you lately, let this be the reminder: you are doing an extraordinary job. Not a perfect one, not a glamorous one—but an essential, fierce, deeply loving job. You are shaping a world for your child that tells them they’re safe and accepted, even when the rest of the world doesn’t know how to accommodate them. You are enough, even on the days when you don’t believe it. And you deserve rest, connection, and compassion, starting with how you talk to yourself when the house is quiet and your work is done for the day.

Discover a vibrant community at Autism Vision of Colorado, where unique events and support groups await to inspire and connect individuals on the autism spectrum and their families.